There was a man who had a garden that would have been beautiful except for a huge, ugly boulder right in the middle of it. He tried to blast it out with dynamite, to no avail. But he was determined and tried one method after another to get rid of the boulder until finally he died, discouraged and disappointed. The heir of the property perceived the hopelessness of striving to budge the boulder, so he set about converting it into a unique centerpiece of the garden. He covered the stone with flowering vines, and placed ferns around the edge. There’s a lesson in this for each one of us, isn’t there? We can not always change the situation we are in, but we can lean to adapt.
You will, in your own time, have to face the fact that your loved one has transitioned from the physical realm to the other. Some people refer to this realisation as coming to terms with their loss. I prefer to use the word adaption instead. Coming to terms with something infers that someone has accepted their loss and ended their season of mourning. Our hearts are not designed to abruptly terminate our grief. The transition of adapting to a new life where our loved one is not physically present is not easy, but necessary. It evolves over an undetermined period of time.
Are you fighting the changes that have been thrust upon you? Do you constantly yearn for how it was? Perhaps it is time to become more accepting of the changes that have happened. Life is full of changes - some good and some bad. We all suffer loss. Whilst we need to mourn, we also, at the same time need to learn to adapt. Embracing change will enhance growth and healing. I recommend you begin by changing from the inside out, as the quote above suggests. Start small. Address one issue at a time. One day you will look back and be amazed at your progress.
This is an excerpt from my book HEALING THE GRIEVING HEART by Del Marie McAlister
Imagine having someone walking beside you every day of the year, sharing nuggets of wisdom, messages of comfort, real life stories, and glimmers of hope. Many people, including myself have traveled a similar journey to yours and we understand what it’s like to grieve deeply. HEALING THE GRIEVING HEART contains snippets of our collective wisdom, and practical ideas, that has the potential to become healing balm to your grieving heart. A must-have if you are bereaved.
"I loved the book! I heard your voice throughout and it was such a comfort. Very heart warming and affirming."
“I can thoroughly recommend this book. It would have to be the most practical book I have read on dealing with the loss of someone you love.”
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Copyright 2018 Del Marie McAlister
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